Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.

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*Divorce:
- T" g* M# y/ b# w*Future tense of marriage*
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5 d1 B& \0 {) fCigarette:
5 T% P3 L' Z- n6 F" b' e*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *
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Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
- n5 ~  |7 `& e9 _) d7 ^: Wstudents without passing through the minds
& d- @# q3 ?3 _" |( I  Lof either.*
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Compromise:
6 K9 s" H* ?* v  r) ^*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*

Tears:
5 V$ c% y" w- t% D4 v( m! {*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*


Dictionary:
*A place where success comes before work.*

0 K' E  U( R4 U  n- z  iConference Room:
. f! T. B' @- _- G$ L$ D*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
# O; a) r" u- K+ \  O# v* qand everybody disagrees later on.*
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Classic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*

' [# S: A9 V/ P( n+ |9 G( Q: g/ [/ hSmile:
*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*


Office:
*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*
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Yawn:
*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*

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Etc:
8 Q- `! g9 o4 k1 ^+ t*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
% O- r3 g% \+ g4 ^  y8 ~. f, Ayou actually do.*
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Committee:
, h: l5 N) V* \5 F, ?*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
) ~) y0 e% {$ lsit to decide that nothing can be done together.*

Experience:
) p* B$ ?) d, `5 `- Q3 K) ~8 a*The name men give to their mistakes.*


Atom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*

+ p( O7 Q3 Q& \. M. M- wPhilosopher:
0 y% @& ^  @1 J, M4 n4 O*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.*

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Diplomat:
" y4 F: B4 r' Q' j*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
5 M6 p) a. V2 v8 Q. q1 b# c' M7 r/ `that you actually look forward to the trip.*
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Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*

Optimist:
$ b3 q8 T( m# [) N8 r. n$ J; C5 k*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
& `( i% X$ S+ d8 e+ p& Z  Gmidway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *


Miser:
/ o4 i" i; ?$ ?' x7 N*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
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0 i, h* J6 y. F$ ZFather:
$ x- Y  X" q0 p- a3 F+ ~*A banker provided by nature.*
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3 x* d, M. x  P, B4 RCriminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
caught.*

" j/ L+ q  _" H3 RPolitician:
% c" |& {1 y1 B4 _8 u% ^# d8 Z*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*

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% I4 P3 Y% z; ^6 D- \% G! aDoctor:
; C  n, d0 V! [*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
- o  e$ F% Y5 V* ?you with his bills.*
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Boss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$