Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

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The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
% h. C2 J# d) X: [% J( Y. N- Dfollowing words.
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*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*

Cigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *
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Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
0 G2 b. J6 y2 e. D; Z& Y" Jof either.*
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8 E9 @) v9 h/ ^) p/ B- LCompromise:
$ S' \0 O. \; f  d( \*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
! i# \+ ?1 h7 _7 s4 Q- j( i. O6 f7 Aeverybody believes he got the biggest piece.*

Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*


* M2 Y1 E+ w1 IDictionary:
" {/ b% t; R0 S- b*A place where success comes before work.*
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; B& d" Z& J2 U" e0 YConference Room:
*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*


Classic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*

Smile:
*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*
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Office:
*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
. X* M0 T: \- w) s1 L# glife.*
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7 k" ~. e5 ?: r, T. w6 V6 a2 M; C$ bYawn:
% k3 C4 E0 o2 I*The only time some married men ever get to open their
, H9 U) I4 N! Q; l( P% Amouth.*
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Etc:
, l  n# m: P& w! c! ^*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*


0 q" {+ k) e! X$ n+ K- \Committee:
/ `% Q4 J( `& n0 a*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
/ _) I/ }+ [; \5 U! {sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*

. Z& ]$ b) \2 Y) XExperience:
*The name men give to their mistakes.*

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8 v) c* O1 `% j6 n/ a' U, w6 ?8 XAtom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*
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Philosopher:
*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
( s% C% s5 R$ |  X- wspoken of when dead.*


Diplomat:
*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*


Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
9 [9 H+ Y, L/ g' u1 Sfalls into a river.*
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Optimist:
9 \; b2 K8 p; F*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
& \; H+ I" v* H) @' n0 T1 T! B4 W' c3 xmidway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
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! v1 ~' e! d1 GMiser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*

" z9 m% J; j5 c+ B* dFather:
*A banker provided by nature.*

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Criminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
3 d) U; i2 z3 f' r5 h6 B" g! pcaught.*

9 P1 A' x. I, j% L4 S0 h3 v+ uPolitician:
. s5 E4 y& I: [) R*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
* C; C) e+ v5 G: g0 S' c$ u/ M1 sconfidence after.*
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Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
$ K: m3 {5 u( `you with his bills.*
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$ T# G  j" o0 ^% }- E" FBoss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
1 ]. S9 P! ^4 pI love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$